Friday, April 10, 2009

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Funny One Liners For Interacting With Women
April 10, 2009 at 11:27 am

Funny Jokes
Dan Bacon asked:


When you’re interacting with a woman that you have a sexual interest in, it’s very important that you are not boring. Why?

Because one of the most attractive personality traits a man can have is the ability to use humor. Today, I’m going to give you some funny one liners to use when interacting with women.

At some point in an initial interaction, a woman will usually ask the classis question, “So what do you do?” This provides you with a great opportunity to use some funny one liners and demonstrate the attractive personality trait of humor.

You have a few options. First you might like to joke around and say, “I’m an actor, I just got a leading role on [insert the latest hit show on TV]” and have her say, “Really?” to your reply of a slight chuckle and possibly a playful jab or tickle to make her laugh more.

She might then reply with something like “No, c’mon -what do you really do?” and you can say something like:

- Nothing. Yes, that’s right. I’m actually looking for a rich girl who will support me…because I want to be one of those stay-at-home husbands, y’know? Look after the TV, watch Oprah and all that sort of stuff. Is that okay with you?

Or, you might want to have her guess: “Guess” (for 1 or 2 times and then tell her the real answer). Or, make it out like she isn’t cool enough for you: “Ohh…well, I don’t know if you could handle the answer. After all, you look a little innocent.”

The following funny one liner will help steer the conversation towards ***.

You: Hmmm…I don’t usually tell people like you. You look like you might get offended

Her: Why? What is it?

You: Well…it involves the lower part of my body.

Her (Here a lot of women will try to be funny and play along): What, like a podiatrist?

You: Nope, guess again.

Her: A foot masseuse?

You: Nope - go a little higher (point to your crotch and give a little cheeky grin).

Her: Haha! A gigalo!

You (Looking seriously offended and taken back): No actually I model men’s underwear. I can’t believe you think I’m a man-whore! I’m going to charge you double!

Her: Haha!

You might also want to reverse the question about your occupation, make it out like she is trying to pick you up and comment that you’re not going to fall for her sleazy pick-up tricks.

Beautiful women are not expecting these sorts of funny one liners from men and as such, the emotion they get from your unpredictable behavior sparks a strong attraction.

- Whoa, are you trying to find out if I’m rich? I mean, we’ve only just met and you’re already behaving like a gold-digger…geez, you’re pretty full on.

- Look…I don’t want to marry you yet, ok? We’ve just met. I work as a masseuse. Is that ok? Good. Now when do you want your first appointment? I accept Visa, Mastercard and Diners, but not American Express because they charge me an extra 2% per transaction!

You: What do I do? Hmmm, very forward of you…are you trying to pick me up???

Her: What? No! Haha!

You: Yes you are!(Playfully tickle or poke her, or just shake your head as if you are ashamed for her). Alright, so I’ll tell you what I do…but no marriage proposals, ok?

Her: Ok.

You: I’m a masseuse, a salsa dance teacher and a rock n roll star.

Her: (Most likely laughing).

The same funny one liner rules apply when a woman asks for your name:

- Brad…Brat Pitt.

- James…James Bond.

- Peter Russelloffanonanonanon.

- Dracula.

If she laughs at your response, emotion is present. If she becomes playfully frustrated at your response, emotion is present. And if you don’t already know - the most important thing is how you make a woman feel.

If you can use humor to make women feel great emotions, it won’t matter if you’re 3 feet tall, with no teeth - she will feel attraction for you. However, if you were to answer her questions logically, no strong emotion would be present and you’d simply be two strangers getting to know each other in a non-sexual way.

Disclaimer: A woman will get annoyed if she can never get a straight answer from you. Once you notice that she is actually interested in talking to you, ease up on the funny one liners a little and change gears to develop a connection with her.



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Standup Comedians Its Not Just Jokes
April 10, 2009 at 5:08 am

Really Jokes
David Marc Fishman asked:


Some people might say you are witty. When making a joke your friends seem to laugh. It seems it is something you take pleasure in doing and when people chuckle sometimes it is the ultimate prize. You believe you value comedy, and you should go to the next stage by becoming a professional comedian.

But, being a stand-up comic and comedian is a lot dissimilar than retelling a common joke and waiting for your friends to giggle. With comedy, you should be cognizant about the meeting, become knowledgeable about the stage, and write jokes that express a universal charm.

While being a comedian can be tough, on the contrary sometimes it is also worthwile. Here is some recommendations on what you should know to turn into a comedian.

Build up your personality. Think about all the popular comedians out there. Each lucrative comedian has something really critical about them. Chris Rock. Dave Chapelle. Adam Sandler. Dennis Miller. After a while you hear the names and, you can mindlessly imagine what they are, what they say, and exactly how and why you giggle.

Sometimes it is exaclty what you need to do. As a trainee, it might be a while before you find your personality. Test it in front of the public. Ask for reviews wherever possible. Refine and tweak your stage presence until you’re content with the product.

There are quite a lot of diverse kinds of comedy. Knowing what they are should help you train fittingly. Do you prefer improv comedy, standup, or would you rather emotionalize in a comedy movie or a sitcom? Here are plenty of other options, too. Once you understand what style of comedy you would like to do, you can set objectives and amplify a plan that should help you achieve them.

Attend comedy classes. You will figure out and learn, standup or any extra forms of comedy don’t come as expected. Sure, you can express the physical gift, skill of timing, etc. But, you also need help realizing the dissimilar styles of comedy and how to perfect and draw on them to your advantage.

When you go and take a comedy session, you can improve yourself and get some help from a master comedian. After learning everything the educational and the learning curve has been reduced, you will need to work together with fellow comedians and get reactions.

Put in writing and prepare your act in front of family. Attend standup amateur nights. Essentially, get as much familiarity as possible so youcan get comfortable in front of people. Practice in front of the mirror. By timing your act you can gage the amount of time you will need. Modify and correct your jokes until you get the entire act perfected. Once you complete all of this, you are content to start working in a club for payment.

Enter competitions. Entering competitions is a fantastic way of getting familiarity and to practice your routines in front of audience. When it hits it doesn’t matter if you fancy standup or improv or something other, there are comedy competitions for it. You can join amateur internet talent shows. Yes alot of these may also enforce a prize. The benefit to this, is that agents may be lurking in the public looking to spot new talent.



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Good Stress - Is There Really Such A Thing?
April 10, 2009 at 3:21 am

Good Humor
Anna Hart asked:


While all stress must be managed, it is a mistake to think of all stress as bad. Some stress can be very good. Look at the following brief definitions.

* Stress is your body’s response to any demands made on it.

* Situations or events that cause stress are called “stressors”.

* A bad or detrimental stressor is called “distress”. “Di” means “two” in Greek. Think of double trouble. Distress is a disabling or crippling stress.

* A good or beneficial stressor is called “eustress”. “Eu” means “good” in Greek. Think of joy and laughter. Eustress is a pleasant or a healing stress.

Examples of Good Stress - Eustress

Good stress may, like all stress, seem too much to handle emotionally or physically - but good stress does not drain you of power. Its very nature energizes you, helping you handle more than you thought possible.

1. Life-saving stress. You may have experienced, or heard of, an accident in which someone was pinned under a heavy vehicle. The physical demand of lifting that vehicle might seem impossible, but the good stress of that impossibility provided the rush of adrenalin needed for someone to lift the incredible weight.

2. Stage Stress. The actor who waits for the curtain to rise often experiences eustress, or good stress. The good stress helps him or her to focus and remember opening lines, despite the feeling that the demand is too great.

3. Earning power stress. You lost your job, and try as you might, you seem unable to get another. The emotional demands of trying to make ends meet is causing stress, but it turns out to be good stress because it pushes you beyond what you thought you could do. It pressures you to keep trying until you land a job.

4. Job Interview Stress. The oral interview for that new job is much more than you feel ready to tackle. The emotional demand seems too great, but good stress kicks in, supplying you with clear thinking and ability to express your thoughts in ways that will be of positive help to your interview.

5. New job stress. You want to make a good impression on that new job. Landing the job is a positive in your life, but the demands of learning the job seem more than you feel you can handle. Good stress presses you to apply yourself, focus, and succeed.

6. Winning Score Stress. The athlete in a close competition looks at the score board. The score is tied, with less than a minute remaining. He or she needs a competitive edge if the winning score is to be made. Good stress supplies that competitive edge. The athlete concentrates, the mind clears, and the score is made.

7. Final Examination Stress. You are going to take an important examination. You feel stress, certain you are unable to do as well as you want. That good stress will drive you to prepare, and to think clearly and quickly during the exam.

8. Wedding Day Stress. Few people think their wedding day calls for stress management. That’s because a wedding is viewed as a happy, positive step. At the same time, your wedding may raise doubts as to your ability to meet the demands of a new life. That beneficial stress will send adrenalin racing through your body, giving you that “competitive edge” that makes you fight off your doubts.

Those are but a handful of examples of eustress - beneficial stress.

You cannot avoid stress, nor should you want to. You especially do not want to avoid good stress.

Stress Management - Good Stress

Managed properly, beneficial stress energizes you and clarifies your thinking. It helps you focus, providing the edge you need to attain goals that would otherwise be unattainable. Learn the techniques needed to manage eustress, and you will find it an enjoyable experience.

Stressors are neither good nor bad in and of themselves. They become good or bad based on how your body reacts to the stressors. Your body reacts according to how you train it, or tell it to react.

5 Steps for managing eustress.

* Identify the stressor. When the first twinges of stress hit, identify the situation or event that is causing it. What is it that makes you feel you are emotionally or physically unable to handle the stressor? Name it.

* Describe the stressor. Pull it into the open and look closely at it. Is it something your body really cannot be expected to handle emotionally or physically? How big is it? How long will it last?

* Differentiate the stressor. Is it bad or good stress? Is it distress or eustress? Does it seem detrimental or beneficial? Give it the benefit of the doubt.

* Laugh at the stressor. Your conscious decision to laugh at the stressor can strengthen your body to handle it. It can help you convert potential distress to eustress. Modern scientists are learning the truth of an ancient proverb: humor is healing. So consciously smile and laugh to turn the stressor into eustress.

* Relax with the Stressor. Consciously allow yourself to relax, aware that eustress is helping you do this.

Eustress provides your body with chemicals that stimulate your brain to relax the neck and back muscles. As your neck and back relax, your brain also relaxes. It begins to refocus. It begins to think more clearly and quickly.

Eustress provides physical health to your whole body. It reduces your blood pressure, and strengthens both the immune system and digestive system.

Follow these five steps whenever you feel physically or emotionally unable to handle a situation. Turn distress to eustress, and you will soon be more proactive in dealing with the stressor.



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You Know, You Can Make Your Own Jokes Too
April 10, 2009 at 2:11 am

Funny Jokes
petar1980 asked:


There is a hidden way to learn how to be funnier. The primary thing we should do is understand why we find something hilarious, at least the way recognized scientists tell it is. At times when we comprehend new stuff, the mind builds the new path, from a neuron to another neuron.

This path is called a synapse and this is an example of the ways it works:

While thinking about food, if we think of, let’s say, blueberries our brain will make a route (the synapse which will get thicker), connecting the two neural cells that contain the data we have on food and that fruit. So, the next time you think about food, you’ll surely be thinking about apples, as well. What you’re probably thinking is that this has nothing to do with humor. Well you’re wrong, as this is in fact the way humor works.

It all begins with a person telling you a simple and short story. Stand-up comedians call this a setup. After this, you should be thinking about this story in a certain way. And then, your brain will create connection, leading from this setup to a suitable punch-line. Now, you probably won’t hear the same punch-line that you thought of, but a different one, instead and it will make you laugh. Most of the people don’t understand this right away, but the next example will surely explain it better.

The Setup:

What is the most satisfying thing next to being shot at and missed?

The Punch-line:

An income tax refund.

What did you think when you heard the setup? I am sure you have thought that the car is being driven by one of the three people. It’s normal to think that way, as that is just the way our brain was made to work. And as I said, the punch-line was totally different than you expected. This is in fact the main principle of the way humor works.

A good setup is of great importance. Good comedians will always have a setup that only delivers the basic facts, so that there are many possible punch-lines you can think of. Now, the more you believe your punch-line is the best one, the more you’ll laugh when you hear the real one. But if you’re already familiar with the punch-line the joke won’t be funny anymore as the brain won’t be making any new routes.

This article should be handy in case you want to create new jokes. When a man tells something that all the people thinks about in the same way, but you figure out an unexpected way to understand it. Now, if you tell this to others, it should be funny.



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