Are Personal Computers Becoming Too Personal? from shopndrop.com
Has the PC replaced the dog as man’s best friend?
The rapid development of successive generations of high-speed computer chips has brought with it a bounty of personal amenities and business aids ranging from efficient interactive multimedia games to instantaneous online banking and trading to speedy access of CD data. But this high-tech blessing has come with a high-priced curse — a humanization of and attachment to a machine, hitherto unparalleled in the annals of human history. If the personal computer hasn’t yet replaced the dog as man’s best friend, it’s only because nobody has yet figured out a way to get it to lick your face.
Probably the most compelling factor in the humanization of the PC is its ability to hook up with the Internet. The notion that you can “meet” people for a “chat” while being alone in a room, catapults sociability to a new level - many age-old social mores fall by the wayside.
Gone are the days when you had to get dressed up to make an impression. On the net, you can dress down, slouch in your seat and have a hair-day that makes a thorn bush look divine in comparison, but as long as you know your gigabytes from your zip drives, you’re a mega-hit.
“Quick fingers” no longer has the connotation of a guy getting fresh with his date. On the world wide web, “quick fingers” is the biggest compliment you can pay a guy. A compliment for a woman would be, “The way you think, reminds me of my motherboard.”
One drawback of the online social arena, however, is that you can chat with someone for hours and not even be sure what gender they are. Sort of a throwback to the hippie days.
Although, “My car broke down,” no longer cuts it as an excuse for tardiness, the high-tech counterpart, “My modem broke down,” is even better. Due to a “modem breakdown,” you can not only be late for a meeting or a chat, but also “leave” (disconnect) early. What’s more, you can even leave right in middle of a boring babble - which is the rough equivalent of throwing a boring passenger out of a moving car in middle of the highway. Although, in a car, this may be considered rude behavior, on the net, it could be seen as a social improvement or “cultural upgrade.”
To the delight of many (cheap) guys, a “date” on the world wide web doesn’t cost more than a local phone call. Unless, of course, you want the company of a real human being and decide to actually meet the person you’ve been chatting with. But that sort of defeats the great achievements of modern technology.
What’s more, with your social sphere on the net encompassing literally the entire planet, you may now have to confront problems hitherto unencountered. It used to be bad enough to meet someone who was “wrong” for you. Now you have to contend with meeting someone who is “right” for you, but on the “wrong” side of the globe. How do you deal with this? Do you travel half way around the world just to meet someone?
And what if you fly down to Sidney, Australia, for a date and it turns out you don’t like the person? Do you say, “I have a headache, I’m going back to the airport to lie down?”
Some people take Internet sociability even a step farther — they get married on the net. Such nuptials are rife with nebulous legalities, and should be undertaken only by those who are fully aware of their ramifications.
In an Internet marriage, crashing your mate’s system on a regular basis may be considered spousal abuse. Uploading every time your spouse wants to download can be interpreted as “irreconcilable differences.” If your wife finds you in a chat room with another woman, it could be grounds for divorce, if she can prove you spoke about anything but fiber optic connections and backup utilities.
Then, there are divorce issues that are not yet clearly defined. Upon divorce, does your spouse get half your disk space. If your spouse was granted the websites you created together, do you have visiting rights? If you were promised the floppies in a prenuptial agreement, how easy is it for your spouse to do a flip-flop on the floppies?
These and other such vexing questions should be researched before getting involved in an Internet marriage. You’d be well-advised to consult a high-powered attorney, one who can recite at least fifty-six thousand loopholes per second.
In addition to changing some social customs, the PC has itself become such a powerful object of fixation that some people see it virtually as a member of the family.
One case in point is Bob (this is not his real Internet “handle” - to ensure his privacy, I’m using his real name). Bob went so far as giving his Pentium 3.5 GHz computer a name — Chippy. And for good reason. He says it does more tricks than Poochy. No, Poochy is not his dog. Poochy is his Pentium 2. His dog’s name is Commodore-128, named after an old computer that didn’t do much of anything. By some strange coincidence, his dog knows of 128 places to hide when he hears an intruder.
When Chippy came down with a virus, Bob rushed him to “Lee’s Emergency Room” (a computer shop where many a warranty has expired while waiting for a technician). Being told to take two floppies and call back in the morning, Bob stayed up with Chippy all night, running an anti-virus program called “Chicken Soup.” By the next day, Chippy was doing so well that his built-in tax program was able to demonstrate how you can legally become a Native American and claim your house as a casino.
Unfortunately, another friend of mine, Patricia, didn’t fare so well. Her computer, Meggy, of blessed memory and storage capacity, may her chips rest in peace, met with an untimely demise, many upgrades before its time. One day Meggy was as healthy as a mainframe with six redundant backup systems (the computer equivalent of an ox), the next day her life was zapped out of her by a hideous power surge. It was horrible. I wouldn’t wish it on a VCR.
Losing Meggy after twelve months was particularly painful for Patricia, who had been looking forward to nurturing Meggy through obsolescence. In search of closure, Patricia sued the power company for sixty-four million dollars - one million for every meg of memory she was deprived of. After several years of legal wrangling, she settled out of court for a year’s supply of environment-friendly, natural pulp, glossy inkjet paper. Manufactured, I believe, by Kodak and Pepperidge Farm.
In the final analysis, the key to computer usage is moderation and common sense. Don’t get so attached to your computer that you get emotionally distressed every time your AOL browser says “Goodbye.” Get up for a break once in while - if you look out the window and see the sun expanding into a supernova, you’ve been at your keyboard way too long. Don’t “chat” with anyone whose handle requires periodontal surgery to pronounce. And last, but not least, as soon as tech-support puts you on hold, put your house lights on a timer that turns them on and off every hour or so, so burglars know you’re home.
A couple of years ago a new concept emerged in work place across America about having fun while at work. The idea being the more fun one has at work, the more they enjoy their jobs, the more productive they are and ultimately the more money the company makes. The "Fish" concept was developed by fish mongers at Pike Place Market in Seattle. There are 4 basic principles: Choose your attitude, Be there, Play and Make Their Day. Can this concept move from the board room to the poker room? Does adopting this principle pay off in the long run as it does for companies?
Normally anything to do with fish and poker should be avoided. The last thing that you want is to be the fish. However, this fish may be good for you. The first principle is to choose your attitude. Simply, it is what attitude you choose to bring to work or the poker table. You make the choice. You can be surly, happy, aloof, whatever you fancy. It is more profitable and better for you to bring a positive attitude about having fun. That is right, focus on what brought you to the game in the first place, having a good time. I know that you have seen a thousand **** outs and bad beats and that you may be bitter and jaded. However, if you don't approach the game with a positive attitude, there probably is no point even sitting down in the first place as mentally you have already lost.
The second principle is to be there. "I am at the table, I am there" is what you may be thinking. However, being there in this instance means that you are focused and paying attention. Whether it is with customers or other players, you need to be engaged with them and learning about them. If you are plugged into an iPod, surfing the net if you are on line, or participating in any other activity other than studying and learning from other players then you are not there. You may be missing out on information that will cost you money. While you are surfing the internet for the latest escapades of Paris Hilton, you may miss someone showing you their cards which gives you a virtual key to how they play.
Play. "Again, I am at the table playing, what do you mean play?" Well, like being there, play has a slightly different meaning. This means to joke around, have fun without being a jerk. People would rather lose their money to the person that is getting along with everyone and having a good time rather than the loose cannon who berates everyone for how they play. People will want to stick around and keep donating chips to you rather than looking for a seat at another table. This does not mean that you have to do a stand up routine, it just means have a good time and allow others to have a good time with you. If the table is having fun there is a sense that everyone is friends. Do you know what friends do? They confide in each other. People will be more apt to show you their cards…"look I had you, good lay down". More information for you, more learning opportunities and more money in you pocket.
Finally, make their day. The idea is that you made them feel good in some way that they want to return. In business in means repeat customers that bring friends back with them. The same goes for poker. People have a good time and want to come back and may bring their friends with them. More customers, more money.
Where would you rather play, the quiet hostile table or the fun table full of laughter. You would rather play at the table that pays more money. If you use these principles to your advantage you should have great success. If you end up losing all your money, well, at least you had fun doing it. So choose the right attitude, be there, play and make their day so that you can make their day. It makes millions for companies in the business world, why not make it work for you?
Laughter will forever be the best medicine, better than any doctor prescribed pills or holistic remedy passed on by a health therapist. So it is with this thought that we at Video Babylon understands the importance of therapeutically adding the enjoyment of a Toronto wedding by providing some of the all-time anecdotes for that perfect wedding occasion. By adding a dose of laughter to your speech as a best man, maid of honour, father of the bride or mother of the groom and even the MC, doing it at the right time is the key, something that will have to come from seeing the audience and determining how you feel, however, there is never a wrong time to ***** a tasteful joke during your wedding speech, for your Toronto wedding party, however, it has to be done very tastefully and in good standing of your guests, especially your newly formed family.
There is nothing worse than making a fool of yourself while standing in front of all your guests, family members and newly-inherited family members and start to insult those people that you are making a first impression towards. Keep your speech, toasts and poems funny, short and sweet and remember to have fun, this is a wedding, a Toronto wedding party and funny poems, funny speeches and funny poems are encouraged, not frowned upon, so go up there and have a blast for your Toronto wedding speech.
So in conclusion, not only can you win brownie points as a public speaker but also help in breaking the ice with your audience. The audience at a Toronto wedding can be very fickle, it can be very relaxed even while you make a toast, so go up there and make a killing, be prepared and you will be fine for your wedding speech at your Toronto wedding. Below are a few examples of one-liners that will enhance your wedding speech, poem or toast:
Socrates
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Rita Rudner
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
John Milton
Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate.
Henny Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Cathy Carlyle
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
Mickey Rooney
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
Honore de Balzac
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
Henry Kissinger
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Anonymous
There are 4 keys to a successful wedding, take your wife out dancing, take your wife out shopping, take your wife out to dinners and shows and make passionate love to your wife, and in the end make sure that none of the previous 4 women meet your wife.
Too many people suffer from chronic seriousitis these days. It shows up in the stren faces, furrowed brows, bad hair days, impatience, up-tight behavior, and loss of persective.
We need tp lighten up! We take ourselves way too serious with disastrous effects to our personal health and wellness. We need to recognize that laughter truly is ‘the best medicine.’
What most of us don’t realize is that by not laughing, we miss out on many health benefits. A good laugh massages face, shoulders and stomach muscles, reduces blood pressure, increases oxygen flow, boosts the immune system, and casues a reduction in stress-inducing chemicals.
Research has shown that laughter works faster than Valium or vodka. The benefits from a good belly laugh can last up to 24 hours. Dr. William Fry, a lughter pioneer researcher found that 30 seconds of hearty laughter equals a three minute physical workout on a rowing machine.
You don’t even need a reason to laugh, even fake laughter is good for you. Thousands of ‘Laughter Clubs’ have sprung up all over the world practicing fake laughter with the same benfits as derived from real laughter.
With the downturn of the economy and the increase of personal stresses, it is important to remember that humor and laughter are powerful stress busters. It is impossible to be stressed when laughing. Laughter provides an instant vacation from our stress,
Humor and laughter clear our minds, so that we can think more clearly and become more creative in resolving our problems. Humor helps us cope with difficult time and situations. It is a known fact that there was more humor created during Worl War Two than any other time in history.
Humor and laughter help to reduce conflict and faciltate easier communication. They quickly help lower the barriers and ease connection with people.. This is a tremendous asset for people caught up in the negative effects of the economy, when having tp pusue other avenues of employment.
Humor and laughter are available to each and everyone of us and at no cost, however, they still remain the most underrated and undervalued tools in society.
Funny topics for a persuasive speech may often be an excellent way of making people more interested in what you have to say. Incidentally, it is not that easy to formulate funny topics for a persuasive speech.
You may have to spend a bit of your time and effort to get that ideal subject matter. Here are a few tips on how to find hilarious topics that will keep your audience alive and kicking!
Start With Normal Topics
The important idea that you should remember is the definition of a persuasive speech. You need to bear in mind that a persuasive speech, whether it is about a funny topic or not, is there to persuade people – to convince people to believe in what you are saying.
What better way to persuade people than to talk about something you have knowledge about or a topic that you are interested in.
You can then list subject matters that interest you or something you're familiar with. You can get a pen and a piece of paper and write them all down. You do not have to be formal when writing your thoughts. Just write them in anyway you want for as long as you can read them later.
Target Audience
Now that you have your list of ideas, it is time to choose which subject would fit your audience. You do not want to talk about something political when you are supposed to deliver your persuasive speech to 5-year-old children.
On your list, choose the best ideas that would best suit your target audience. Crush out any other ideas that would not fit the profile of your audience.
Make Them Funny
Funny topics for a persuasive speech are not, in their nature, really funny. You will be the one who can turn these "unfunny" ideas and turn them into something hilarious.
A good example would be chocolate. Chocolate by itself is not funny, but you have the power to turn it into funny topics for a persuasive speech. Just by the idea of chocolate, you can create a funny topic that states, "Why momma wouldn't let me eat a lot of chocolates?" This can be interesting to an audience of kids and at the same time funny for them.
Another good example would be talking about college in front of a teenage audience. The idea of college can become a funny topic if you state your topic in a way like, "Why does college ****?"
Any idea you have written on your list has the potential to become funny topics for a persuasive speech. You just have to be a little creative.
Finale
Funny topics for a persuasive speech can only do so much for the impact that it can make on people. The way you deliver your speech in front of the audience will also play a very big role on how funny it will be and how it can affect your audience.
Some of the dating rules are very hilarious and it does not sound right to call them just rules. The best thing to call them is humor dating rules. When i visited some of my friends recently i laughed till i could not laugh any more after a man said that among his dating rules is that he does not date girls who have fat or ugly friends. Number two of his rules is that he does not date girls who think pot-bellies are not ****. They are just not fit to date together with one who does not praise the size of his manhood no matter how small it is. Another one came up with a really funny one. That a woman should never date a man who still lives in her mothers house after he is 30 years old. They argued that chances are that he has some hidden bodies under the board.
The lady also came up with other humor dating rules which had every woman thinking quiet hard. Do not date a guy who has the guts to go round in a car for a whole hour looking for a cheap parking space or to make it worse a cheap petrol station. You might laugh it off but it is serious. This sends a message that the guy is very mean with his money. For a relationship to prosper you need to share financial problems and a mean person makes you jump to the next one who might be a little more generous. The no romance without finance is a truly applicable slogan.
Ladies be warned. Do not take them as just humor dating rules they are real. Do not date a man who does not like showering. You might be subjecting yourself to torture of having to put up with a smelling partner. Do you want to leave under the shadow of your mother-law? Mama boys are dreaded by many women. That is why you should not date a man with a boob's fascination. Why? Because the guys still want to be around their mums as long as possible. It is a sign that they adore their mother. Do not even think of going anywhere near a guy who has blow up dolls. It is not safe.
There are funny men who will tell you about their mental disorders on their first dates. To make it more humorous they propose to you on that very first date. Girl, run for your life because this is not funny. Humor dating rules state that; do not hang around with a guy who cannot scratch his balls in public. He is not disciplined enough to follow rules and regulations since this was taught to every guy by his primary teacher. Do not date a guy whose only idea of romance is a pat you on the back. These rules are funny and it is your choice to follow all of them. Do not blame me if you will be single after the age of 30.
There must be over 1,000 websites where you can find funny videos. Many of these web sites will be glad to e-mail you their funny video of the day. Some of the videos are candid and are very embarrassing. Many of these videos are posted without the permission of the primary subject. Some people purposely film funny videos to get their 15 minutes of fame. Shows television’s America’s Funniest Home Video’s (AFV) where the weekly winner receives $10,000.
Celebrities and politicians have the most to lose. Certain celebrities seem to constantly draw attention to themselves and their behavior. I recently saw a video of Michael Jackson on GooglyFoogly where you can see the transition of the color of Michael’s face. There is a very funny compilation on Veoh of Britney Spear’s making funny faces, licking an olive for a commercial, playing with a puppet and being asked in an interview if she is a virgin. Of course, politicians such as George W. Bush need to be extremely careful. Videos of the president circulating include Bush thanking Queen Elizabeth II for visiting America in 1776 and Americans working hard to put food on their families.
Websites like You Tube, Metacafe and iFilm among many others, provide people with the medium to upload video’s they have taken, and grant access to millions of people throughout the world. Many of their funniest videos center around children doing foolish things such as chasing after the beam from a flashlight or accidentally hitting a hot cup of coffee and spilling on his mother or getting scared by a sprinkler. People also love to film their animals. Some of the funny things people do to their pets are dressing their dog up in people clothes or dancing with their dog on its hind legs never fail to make people laugh. Of course, animals are very spontaneous and such episodes as a dog skidding on ice and knocking someone over or a cat playing on the keyboard of a piano keyboard and scaring itself are often hilarious.
With the development of flash, by Adobe, allow people to easily stream their videos. This is an extremely powerful tool, especially when used in conjunction with animation. You can make mythical characters such as unicorns come to life, characters such as Beavis and Butthead or the Simpsons do inane things. Whatever you choose to watch, and have fun and be prepared to laugh.
Undoubtedly, the phenomenon of online videos has changed the workd of entertainment, politics and more.
Online Roulette is one of the most common forms of Cyber gambling in today’s world and live online roulette is catching up quickly. The game consists of a small wheel that has some 37/38 numbered pockets colored alternately with red and black randomly. There is a pocket numbered as zero (or double zero) which is painted in green.
To play the game you need to bet on the numbers, their combinations, range, and then their colors. Online live roulette is almost like a lottery with the only difference that here you are at an advantageous positions as you can bet on a number of combinations.
The online casinos offer a real casino like environment. You can hear the background noise, shouts from other tables, and commotion which has been devised to create a real casino like atmosphere. Choosing a good online live roulette site is very essential to save time and money. You may choose those online casinos which require you to give the specific number of spins before the bet. Generally, the fast playing ones are better for the players. Also one must have the chance to observe the spin of the wheel before placing the bet so you can get a feel for the numbers. This gives you the opportunity to save on silly bets made prior to knowing your betting ability. Sometimes a red or black number might come out 10 or more times in a run!
Online Roulette may be American or European. American Roulette features the double zero wheel. Because of the two zeros here, the house has more advantage over the players leaving lesser chance for them to win. Unless you really want to have some good fun American form of the game is not for you. Casinos have noticed players stay away from these tables so you will more often than not find that that the only table available for you to play online live roulette is a European one. European Roulette is similar to the American with the only difference in the zero factor. Here, you will see just one zero on the wheel. The difference between the two may not seem to be very significant but here the house advantage is reduced to 2.63% from 5.26%. Hence the chances of winning are much more here. With ‘En Prison’ rule the player can utilize several options to win. Online tips available are not very reliable and one should not bank too much on them. The game is a bit slow and relaxing and can be enjoyed by one and all.
Online live roulette offers a lot of benefits to its players. They can play freely avoiding the real casino distractions. Players can create an in-house environment to suit his/her tastes and can play freely without much bothering about co-players. Roulette is a game of luck and does not matter whether you play it real or live and online. There is no skill involved and if your luck is favorable it is surely a game for you!
You may not realize it, but over the course of the past few decades fortunes have been made on funny t-shirts. Its a little known fact that while stand up comedians and actors have been beating their brains out on stage trying to become rich and famous, humorous entrepreneurs have been quietly raking in the big bucks by creating funny t-shirts.
Who Did it?
Over the years you have no doubt seen some doozies that left you laughing until your stomach was sore. However; did you ever stop to give any consideration to who created the funny t-shirt? Most likely not and this is why the majority of the creators of this type of comical clothing live their lives in anonymity, devoid of the trappings of stardom.
Creating Initial Prototypes
So now the big question is, how can you get started raking in the big bucks off of your ideas for funny t-shirts? No doubt, you have more then a few stored up in the back of your brain, so that gives you enough material to get started. Once you see the reaction that you get from the public from your initial prototypes then you can go into full production.
The Newest Technology
The best place to turn to to get your first funny t-shirts produced is one of the many online sources that are now doing this type of custom work. Its all thanks to digital printing technology that is able to print on cloth, just the same as paper printers have been printing on paper for years.
As Few As One Shirt Made
Because the image is simply loaded into the printing machines memory and then printed straight onto the item there is no need for minimum orders. Of course this means that you can have as few as on custom t-shirt made if you want to.
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